


Latte Hottay

by LordOfVibes



Category: Spies Are Forever - Talkfine/Tin Can Brothers
Genre: Aged-Down Character(s), Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Not spies, Coming Out, Curt Is In The Closet, Curtwen, Gay Agent Curt Mega, Inspired by TGWDLM, Lesbian Tatiana Slozhno, M/M, Mrs. Mega Is A Good Mother, Owen is the Latte Hottay, he's so far into the closet he's gotten to narnia, tatiana/barb is mentioned like once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:55:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29584071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordOfVibes/pseuds/LordOfVibes
Summary: Mrs. Mega thinks Curt's got a crush on one of the baristas at Chimera Coffee. She's right, but it's not the one she thinks it is.
Relationships: Agent Curt Mega & Mrs. Mega, Barb Larvernor/Tatiana Slozhno, Owen Carvour/Agent Curt Mega
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	Latte Hottay

Curt loved his mother. No matter how hard he tried to deny it, he did. She did raise him, after all. She was a caring yet stern mother. She raised him to be tough. Maybe that wasn’t the best thing, but Curt was like that and there was nothing that anyone could do to change that. 

But no matter how much Curt loved his mother, she could be a bit overbearing. Actually, a bit is an understatement. She was very overbearing. 

The thing she wanted more than anything was grandchildren. She had been asking for them ever since Curt had turned 18. He had never had a girlfriend, though he had many female friends, Mrs. Mega seemed to want Curt to get together with all of them. God, if only she could understand Curt’s utter distaste in women, at least in a romantic and sexual sense.

Yes, Mrs. Mega was not homophobic. She was very accepting, actually. The only reason that Curt hadn’t come out to her yet was that he didn’t want to crush her hopes of having grandchildren. He simply wasn’t interested in children, not even adopting. That might change once he settles down with someone nice, but for now, that was what he thought. 

“When are you gonna bring home a lovely lady, huh? When will you give me grandchildren?” Mrs. Mega would ask almost too regularly. 

Curt would just wince, say “Not yet, Mom,” and head to his room (yes he still lived with his mother at 19. His job barely paid anything and he was taking a one-year break before going to college.) 

No matter being oblivious to Curt’s homosexuality, Mrs. Mega still knew her son well. She had to, she was his mother. Though sometimes she was just a little off.  
Just a couple blocks away from their house was a coffee shop called Chimera Coffee. It didn’t have great coffee, Curt had to admit, but he went there almost every day for a black coffee. Mrs. Mega knew how much he went there. She knew there was a Starbucks that was closer that had actually good coffee. He didn’t go there for the coffee, he went there for someone…

Now, here’s where Mrs. Mega was off. She thought that Curt had a crush on the pretty barista named Tatiana. She was smart and dedicated, seemed like the perfect mother for her grandchildren. 

She would mention her to Curt often when he was home. “Did you see that pretty barista?” she’d asked. “What’s her name? Tiana?” 

“Tatiana,” Curt corrected. 

“Tatiana!” Mrs. Mega called. “That’s right! So, you know her name?” 

Curt fidgeted. “Yes. We’re friends. Well, maybe not friends just yet, but we know each other.” 

“Ooh,” Mrs. Mega rubbed her hands together. “So, when’s the wedding?” 

Curt blushed. “Mom! It’s not like that, I swear!” 

Mrs. Mega snickered. “Right…” she winked. Curt just groaned and stomped off to his room. 

“The latte hottay,” she had nicknamed her. God, Curt hated that nickname. Where did she even come up with it? 

The thing was, Curt and Tatiana were actually friends. They knew each other already because Barb, one of Curt’s closest friends since childhood, was dating her. Tatiana was a lesbian. She wasn’t interested in men. Curt wasn’t interested in women either. They were quite good, platonic friends. But Mrs. Mega would never get that. 

She was right, in a way. Curt didn’t go to Chimera Coffee almost every morning just for the crappy coffee. He did have a crush on one of the baristas. The “latte hottay” did exist, it just wasn’t who Mrs. Mega thought it was. 

His name was Owen. He was charming and a bit of a slacker, but got the job done. He was also very nice to Curt. It didn’t take much for Curt to fall in love immediately. So he kept coming back again and again and again, just to see Owen. But after all that time, he still didn’t ask him out, mostly because he didn’t want to pretend they weren’t dating or that he was dating someone else around his mom. 

Mrs. Mega would always assume that he liked Tatiana, but he didn’t. Guess he would just be trapped in the closet forever. 

***

The next year was a lot better for Curt. One, he finally moved out and went to college. He was glad that he didn’t live with his overbearing mother anymore. Two, it turned out that Owen was also going to that same college, and that they would be dormmates. Curt was very excited about this. Maybe finally he would get the courage to ask him out. 

Over time, Curt and Owen hung out more. They were practically inseparable. They also fell in love with one another, and Tatiana and Barb, who also went to that college, convinced Curt to ask Owen out. He did, and the two started dating. Curt was the happiest he had been in a very long time with Owen. It was perfect. 

But back at home, Mrs. Mega still thought that Curt was dating Tatiana. Whenever they called and she mentioned that he denied it. She was still persistent on her idea, though. Curt hated that she thought that. It really would break her heart when he will come out to her, huh? 

For Thanksgiving, Curt drove back home to his mother’s house. “Hey, do you wanna come with?” he asked Owen. “I think my mom would like to meet you.” 

“Is she okay with it?” Owen asked. “With you being… you know…” 

Curt knew what Owen meant. “Well,” he blushed. “I haven’t exactly come out to her yet.” 

“Really?” Owen asked. 

Curt nodded. “Yeah, really.” 

“Wow,” Owen gasped. “Guess you’re coming out to her now. I’ll come with you.” 

Curt forgot to tell Owen something. “Oh, I forgot, um, my mom thinks I’m dating Tati.” 

“Tati!” Owen froze. 

“Yeah. My mom really wants grandchildren, so she ships me with every female I interact with. As I said, I haven’t come out to her yet,” Curt said awkwardly. 

“That’s rough,” said Owen. 

“Yeah, I know,” Curt nodded. “Guess we’re telling her the truth now,” he shrugged. 

On the drive there, Owen squeezed Curt’s hand. “Hey,” he smiled. “I can tell you’re nervous. Relax. Everything’s gonna be okay. Alright, babe?” 

Curt smiled back at his partner. “Alright. I love you.” 

“I love you too,” said Owen. 

Curt and Owen arrived at Mrs. Mega’s house. They tightly held hands as Curt knocked on the door. Not long after, Mrs. Mega opened it. “Oh, Curtis! It’s so lovely to see you,” she hugged him, and Curt had to let go of Owen’s hand to hug back. She stepped away and noticed Owen. “Oh! Who’s this, your friend?” 

Curt and Owen shared a look. They’ll explain later. “Um, yes, I am, ma’am,” he shook her hand. “My name’s Owen. It’s very nice to meet you.” 

“Oh, nice to meet you too!” Mrs. Mega smiled. She stepped out of the way. “You two come in, it is dreadfully cold out there!” 

The three sat down in the living room together. “So, why didn’t you bring Tati along with you?” Mrs. Mega asked. 

Curt and Owen blushed and glanced at each other. They both nodded, knowing what they were about to be telling her. “Mom,” Curt started. “I’ve got something I need to tell you that I probably should’ve told you a long time ago.” 

Mrs. Mega leaned back. “What is it?” she asked. “Is Tati pregnant? Oh my god,” she covered her mouth with her hands. 

“No, no, Tatiana isn’t pregnant,” Owen shook his head. Mrs. Mega sighed and looked very disappointed. “Quite the opposite, in fact.” 

“Yeah,” Curt nodded. “You see, Mom, I’m not dating Tatiana. I’ve never been interested in her.” 

Mrs. Mega looked very confused. “You two aren’t dating. But I swore… she’s the latte hottay, right…?” 

“No ma’am, she’s not,” Owen said. “I am.” 

Mrs. Mega’s jaw dropped. “You,” she pointed at Owen. “Curtis? Is that true?” 

Curt bit his lip and nodded. “Yes, Mom. I don’t like girls. I’m gay.” 

Mrs. Mega froze. “Really? Well,” she smiled. “If that’s what makes you happy, son. I’m disappointed that my grandchildren won’t be biological, but still. I’m happy for you.” 

That was all it took? Curt got up and hugged his mom. “Thank you, Mom,” he said, tears threatening to spill over. “Thank you for accepting me.” 

Mrs. Mega patted his son’s back. “You’re welcome, son. It’s something I’ll have to get used to, but you’re you and I can’t change that. I will always support you.” 

Curt went back to sit on the couch next to Owen. “Don’t worry, miss, I’m a very good boyfriend to him,” he smiled. 

“I bet you are, Owen,” Mrs. Mega smiled back. “Now, when’s the wedding?” 

Curt and Owen turned red. “Mom!” Curt whined.


End file.
